1. vintage batman one-liner liveblog

    • "Shoot a Crooked Arrow", with Special Guest Art Carney as the Archer!
    • Commissioner Gordon, regarding the evil Archer: "That rapacious rapscallion is terrorizing the good people of Gotham!"
    • Bruce Wayne on the batphone: "Yes, and he robbed the hallway safe of Bruce Wayne."
    • Commissioner Gordon: "How did you know that Batman?"
    • Bruce Wayne: "It's my...business to know."
    • .
    • Archer: "I'm going to rob from the rich and give to the poor!"
    • Batman: "How unoriginal!"
    • "Someone might be able to substitute Batman for a very short time, but [turns to stare at the camera dramatically] no one could ever replace him." -Commissioner Gordon
    • Guy in window of building being scaled by Batman and Robin: "You're not in a band? I thought you might be a singing duo or something, with the outfits and all that."
    • Batman: "No, we're fully deputized officers of the law."
    • Guy in window: "Oh."
    • Batman: "...You may carry on about your business, sir."
    • "If you didn't get your change from the vending machine, you'll have to take it up with the department upstairs." -Banker upon being approached by the Archer and his henchmen.
    • OX?ETH! WHAM-ETH! CLUNK-ETH! THWAPE! -medieval fight sound effects
    • "You know, youse guise ooughta use those American titles when youse talk. Like in the foreign pictures!" --female henchman, frustrated with the Old English of the other henchmen.
    • "Thou hath nothing to fear but thy life." --the Archer, totally not threatening Alfred
    • "Holy hostage!" -Robin, alarmed at Alfred being held hostage.
    • "It's a guillotine often used by stage magicians. I recognized it at once. He was never in any danger whatsoever." -Batman, not impressed by Alfred's near death
    • "Enclose em in a room full of imported California smog. They wouldn't last five minutes!" -Archer's henchmen proposing torture ideas
    • DOTH THIS FOUL DEED SPELL FINIS FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO?

Notes

  1. perksofbeingamisanthrope posted this

it's all cliches from here

I enjoy eating late at night, developing a Chicago accent, and judging people cruelly. The fact that I do not and will likely never fully understand the sport of cricket haunts me night and day. I know this story is about a princess and I know I am in this story. I have not yet determined whether the princess and I are one and the same.